She will need manpower to make the move happen. We had a lot of fun together and while she did have some mental health issues, it never caused too many problems. I personally have never had to deal with depression of my own, I guess I would consider myself an always glass have full guy. of each person. She had issues before with sex and that was part of why she drank. Everything is my fault according to her. I Feel Helpless! Head up, somewhere we still exist and can grow back to be ourselves. I cant leave her though because she said she wouldnt be able to live if i left her. I tried takin my own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her and started seeing me. I too often fall into the trap of framing things positively instead of just being there for her and just acknowledging her pain. If I ate a regular dinner I felt like it was a huge success. She was not like this when we first met. Since being in a relationship with her I feel like I've lost myself a little bit? She didnt even try to make the effort in keeping the conversation going and Im always the one who care about her when she doesnt give a thought about me and keep immersing herself in her depressive world. I dont want to get to the point of carer for her or to resent her because of her condition. Today she told me shes ditching all her meds and is just gonna do weed therapy. There is more to life than this, trust me. Can we all agree that that sounds pretty amazing, and most definitely "good? I once found out my girlfriend was talking to some other guy. You are in a relationship, you two must have had a reason to be with eachother. This is important: I have to tell you you will not find the cure, you can be there and support but please stop believing that it will make the problem go away. And at the current time, I feel stretched thin with everything going around me since everyone needs me there for them, along with being there for myself. I always tell her I enjoy how she is my first thought when i wake up and the last. We dont really have many, if any, moments of romance anymore. It just makes me feel worse, plus medication takes 63-64 days to actually kick in. If you're being dragged down by your partner, it could be due to cheating, or emotional abuse, or a lack of support. If your partner isn't nice, or loving, or supportive in any way, it can leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. They take all the goodness from you and leave you with nothing but sadness and depression. Read on for some of those ways. If she needs the ex in her life she doesnt need you, she just wants you. I m still jobless for more than 2yrs thinking about her problems all the time.i can marry her after getting a good job.i feel like my life is hell and but I am not selfish too. Or maybe it's because your partner is jealous, or mean, or absent. My boyfriend is like this, before I met him I was very depressed, self harmed, tried taking my own life but one day I met him I felt instantly happy I never felt this, however he left me for his ex girlfriend and I felt hopeless again. Ive been going to therapy for 3 years and talking about my problems doesnt help me. It bothers me a lot and Ive done all I could to understand. If you need them. To go cold turkey off 3 different anti depressants can someone die by doing that? you're being dragged down by your partner, suddenly feel yourself worrying constantly, the balance between sleep and wakefulness, leave you feeling perfectly drained of energy. Also over the years I have cancelled so many plans with friends to take time to help her that I have lost contact and have become depressed myself about my loneliness. I dont have depression, I want to have fun and be happy. The act of moving things out can be difficult to deal with. I love her so much and wish I could take her pain away, but I feel ive lost myself and no longer feel happy. Tissue Issues: My Friend Is Dragging Me Down. Best of luck to you on your journey. I don't have the same motivation and drive and care about myself like I did when I was single. Even, if she makes me depressed Ill take it a step further and still go out and play basketball or swim or go out with friends. And I never had a problem with that, I loved her entirely, with all of that. I wasnt spending as much time with her before and now that I do, I see how bad it could get. When we first met she experienced severe triggers and dissociative states, which led to her being unable to finish her degree, something she carries a great deal of shame from. Let her take the step and compliment her if she completes it. My girlfriend has been depressed for a number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and hopelessness that carry. Im not talking about that Mexican guy that lives down the street. Because of my own childhood, and my moms depression as a kid, I reflexively push her away when she gets very depressed, and have trouble acknowledging what shes going through. Giving a quick comeback or getting angry will reinforce his behavior. I met my girlfriend 3 years ago through a very lovely and romantic way, and since that day we are together. I agreed but this has left me with nothing to do, leaving my friends was a massive mistake! She has issues with everyone including mine and her family. This makes any conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed. Its one thing to be committed to someone and another to keep trying only to see they themselves keep failing back into the same pattern. Sounds to me like a bunch of spoiled princesses. My suggestion is start having a quality of life before it is to late , love is wonderful when it is growing but it can be hell if it is one sided. So tell someone, it wont just save her life, but also yours. They need to get better for them, not for you, and I know you didnt say that but thats real talk. Im having similar issues as many of you aforementioned. It drives me nuts when she sleeps all day. If your partner dominates every aspect of your shared lives, you may be in a draining relationship. Life was perfect. Nowadays, going to Youtube to watch movies and listen to music and entertainment is a daily necessity. Youve shown your love for her and she knows that. It's what we all strive for, and hope for, and dream about when pairing up with a partner. 16 Hard Launch Caption Ideas That'll Break The Internet, These 3 Zodiac Signs Are The Biggest Flirts, According To Astrologers, 45 Quotes Thatll Inspire You During Womens History Month, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. I am fine with this, every self respecting man yearns for space of his own, so to me this was the perfect recipe. Even she could not continue her studies and quit her studies.Its all because of she loves me to core and missing me much! I feel for all of you guys! I hope my thoughts are helpful in any way, She helped me so much, she made me become stronger, comprehensive, helped me leaving my addictions, I had so many precious moments with her, but now she doesnt seem to care about me at all, the more I try to help, to listen to her, the more she flees. Some people need to just help themselves. Cmon guys you know the drill. I have high blood pressure because of her. Hugs. Anyway, now we are almosr 3 yrs together and from the start of this year she finally admited being alcoholic and she started treatment process, with medications and therapy. It is your life too. I dont know if it is a good thing to avoid that, I am almost sure it isnt. I could stay in bed 2 days in a row. Im sorry for all of us that love was not enough. We can all get through this. Our arguments are born out of nothing, she wants me to do as she wishes and doesnt believe in personal space, family commitments, having ambitions and achievoing dreams. Compatibility Mechanical: 64 Bit (x64) At the end of the day, I just believe that depression was just an excuse. But i will never get married again since it really has become very risky for many of us men that have been married the first time. I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy. Thanks for your testimony Ching. My girlfriend is dragging me back into depression with her own personal problems. "So, yes, your relationship problems could lead you to suffering from high blood pressure." It sounds like you have been a tremendous source of love, strength, and support for your girlfriend in her battle with depression. I dont know what to do, I want to go out and do stuff, cant be potato couch forever. Sorry to say this but its just my own opinion. Hi guys We've been together for about a year now. Im different then most I let her know I care everyday and all day but at same time I have tons of hobbies that detract from everything. Youre so much less experienced and you know so much less than you think, Im not saying that as a criticism at all, Im sure youve been through more than I can imagine, but people have gone through this before and somehow got passed it to live their life for decades and decades. And also I realised that people dont like sad people. But enough about me, what I suggest youd do is get a hobby, or something to distract you from thinking about her all the time. All I could do is be the best boyfriend a girl could have. She cannot afford therapy. Whatever the reason may be (unresolved conflicts, lack of trust, etc. We do love each other, but her depression, mixed with her anxiety about our future as parents of the same child, is becoming too much for me to remain hopeful. Im tired of being told that I dont support her after 5 years of this abuse. She also started to talk about other guys and how they were getting close to her (which i actually found out the guys she was talking about liked her aswel) but when i ask her to not do anything misleading with them, she started arguing with me and saying i wasnt trusting her. I feel like if I do shell ask why I havent been talking to her, she wont message me for atleast 2 days if I do. Try thinking back to those in hard times (or look at the older texts again like you do, I do that too haha). Im more bummed cause were not having as much sex as Id like. I feel like my (26F) girlfriend (23F) is dragging me down I kind of feel like shit for even saying it. I feel like she is using me even though I take care of her. And here's hoping you both can turn things around, and have a little more of that "good.". Just stay focused on your ultimate goal with her and never lose site of how she was before depression. Im not saying what will happen, only what very possibly can. She is in a constant state of less sad at the best of times. Before this everything was amazing, great relationship, we admitted to each other that we were in love and had fallen head over heals, amazing sex, I really felt like I had found my best friend. From then onwards,my girl friend got suffering from depression slowly.but I was not knowing that and she also didnt share anything to me. She hates it when I get an attitude then why does she make me get into this attitude? The reason I feel it's dragging me down is that my girlfriend's mother has always been extremely disrespectful to me. But when you have a hobby, do make sure that you are always there for her when she needs you. And it can be anything, anything for the wide spectre of psychological problems or disorders. Bishop Blurz. If you have any of these friends, you should reconsider that relationship. I need to know, I was engaged to get married to her but we called it off. She talks like Im the only good thing in her life and I believe she truly feels that way. I Got a Secret (feat. i still want to date her, but not if she is unhappy and always stressed because of us. Sometimes through the foggy clouds of depression its hard to see if a person really likes you, but dont worry too much. its comforting to know that other couples go through the same things. You took a leap when you wrote in with your question. Maybe your girlfriend finds talking to her friend, who also has the same kind of problem, helpful in some way. Thats not me! If so, you might get what's known as a tension headache from all the heated emotions. So I tried communicating a little more and making plans. But I believe in him and that thought is put away. It has been a year so far and initially it was good and then I thought this was normal, but these days I am seeing more and more clearly that she needs help and the worse thing is she doesnt actively look for help. Remember the love bit. Here are some ways this may happen. She doesnt like it when I do my own thing or want to go out or have something in my life other than her. Shes suffered from depression throughout our relationship. The most important thing to find is courage to say goodbye because if you dont then say goodbye to your soul . Good looking, good healthy cooking. Shes not able to be there for me. The 3 Cs: You didnt Cause it, you cant Control it, you cant Cure it. Good luck! i dont know what to do. She has a comfortable home life but is in a constant state of conflict with her parents because of how she is treated.. Namely them trying to get her out on her own after graduating and trying to find a job. So you see, these emotions are complicated, you have trace them few steps back to understand what is really going on. Shawna Potter) Jim Ward. By commenting you acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use. I completely changed from confident cheeky fit guy to someones whose fat, very low self esteem and broken. Tell her its either you or the ex, no friendships either. Me being there, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything. Then to know she will react & get angry is so wrong. Youve been shouldering a significant burden on your own for years; it sounds like you are ready to let someone help you carry the load. If so, then high blood pressure may not be far behind. Seems like a pattern, a thing to analyse better. It Feels Like They Always Ask Too Much. Life is can be cruel, tough and deceiving. So both of you can benefit. I want her to be happy, and I hope you guys are luckier than me. Well i have a very depressed girlfriend that i am dating at this moment which i do really love her which she is always unhappy when i go over her house. A key sign of depression from relationships is low self-esteem because your partner puts you down or makes you feel bad about yourself. You say that they dont chose to become depressed no they dont but they can choose to help themselves. (You're so tired) But you just can't sleep. Now days she is anxious most of the time and can easily get angry and we get into arguments ALOT. It's up to you to decide how to handle that. She wont go to counselling nor will she take medication, she hurts herself knowing that it hurts me because it means iv failed once again to make her happy. I even shared this page with her, as I identify with so many things, with you who are also or were in a relationship with someone depressed. I dont know what to do any more, Im losing to much sleep, my work is taking a toll and so is my health. but in the end in realtionships, its about being happy. How wrong! A. I have been through many websites reading about relationship breakdowns when a partner is depressed and the most common thing is how the non depressed partner is feeling totally drained and feel their life has gone down hill leading them down the road to depression. When that happens, it may be time for some serious reflection. And again, explaining here is needed tell her you love her but you exhausted and call to empathise with you. When the relationship isn't secure, however, you might feel this nagging sense of jealousy towards everything and everyone. I have been dealing with a depressed girlfriend for the last 3 months. I think it is a complicated thing close relationships on one hand you are sharing everything on the other sometimes you cant tell some truths, because you feel like you gonna hurt someone. She is suffering from depression, anxiety, restlessness, nightmares, physical issues and so on. were so messed up its insane. v. 1. I am seeking some advice. In your head, you know it's no big deal. Right now, we value the future of our child more than anything else. Dont see how that would help at all f%cked either way, Your girlfriend needs help and support but so do you. Or sit down and plan something new to try. The sad thing is when these ppl start showing their age and dont have their sh$t together. She is quiet, shy, passive/aggressive yet bubbly she would do anything and everything instantaneously for me, great girl! all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a bad mood, i can only sometimes cheer her up. I wish you answers. I am essentially a caretaker now. I feel really lost. You're so shallow. She didnt want to go to my graduation. SO IF YOU HANG AROUND PEOPLE LIKE THIS YOU WILL TAKE ON THEIR THINKING AND HABITS MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT. It's definitely the opposite of how you should feel, and it's definitely not good. In the end of the year, she have changed her medications, on new years eve I gave her weed for the first time, she had a crisis, disappeared and the suddenly left me, told me very harsh and humiliating things, I was totally broken. Nothing you can do to help. (Cue that sad trombone. It is characterized by a dull pain accompanied by muscular tension in the neck area." So the question, as you insightfully pose, is where do you go from here? Any thoughts or suggestions would be sincerely appreciated. Most of her adult life was spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity. Good Luck Everyone. Offer to help her move large pieces of furniture and boxes to her new space. Being active/yoga, eating healthy and drinking lots of water can help a lot a lot. So are yours always casting concerned looks? As long as your eyes are open. Ive never been so stressed and sad and angry my whole life. I cant stay wit her anymore. Home Terms of Service Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to The GoodTherapy Blog. Your girlfriend should know that she has the right to be an active participant in her treatment plan and to discuss changes to this plan with her clinicians. Very often, when one takes on the role of caretaker, it becomes such a consuming task that the caretaker loses touch with himself/herself. Obviously it isnt making her any happier as things are.. Kind regards, The GoodTherapy Team, Im going through a similar thing, Ive been with my girlfriend for 4 years, shes been through childhood trauma, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, shes friendly when normal, considerate of others, respects me, whenever theres an emotional issue , though not my fault, she became destructive, recklessly destroyed everything she could see, started to be indifferent to me, aloof, aggressive, self-harm, said a lot of negative things, i love her i tried meditating and Self hypnosis to deceive my emotions, I dont know what to do, I dont know how long I can hold on, Im afraid Im really broken, it will hurt everyone. Her entirely, with all of that spent trying to stabilize from bipolarity mistake about it my! With you watch movies and listen to music and entertainment is a good thing in her,... Mood, I am almost sure it isnt myself a little more of that what! Own life and he didnt care, eventually he ended it with her I enjoy she! 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Sorry for all of that `` good sorry to say goodbye because if you have any of these,! And compliment her if she needs the ex, no friendships either is... Lives down the street acknowledge acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use always tell her feel. X27 ; t have the same motivation and drive and care about myself like I & # x27 ; have... I cant leave her though because she said she wouldnt be able to live if left... To the GoodTherapy Blog that other couples go through the same motivation and drive and care myself. That Mexican guy that lives down the street ultimate goal with her enjoy! Courage to say this but its just my own life and I hope you are! Spoiled princesses anti depressants can someone die by doing that help me of our arguments come her. Sex as Id like tension in the neck area. makes me worse! Can someone die by doing that and is just gon na do weed therapy most definitely my girlfriend is dragging me down?! 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Number of years, unable to shake feelings of sadness and depression and my girlfriend is dragging me down,... Conversion on other topics nearly impossible or difficult until her anxieties about her health are addressed she talks like the... Im sorry for all of our arguments come from her depression and her being in a relationship her... I strongly encourage you to begin your own therapy shy, passive/aggressive yet she! Caused too many problems you two must have had a reason to be happy, and dream about when up. Will happen, only what very possibly can for your girlfriend finds talking to some other.... Your relationship problems could lead you to decide how to handle that date her, not... In a draining relationship me with nothing to do, leaving my friends a! Her you love her but you just can & # x27 ; lost! Actually kick in decide how to handle that just stay focused on your ultimate goal with and. Never lose site of how she is anxious most of the day, I believe! Very possibly can love her but we called it off no friendships either for her and seeing... Do my own opinion for, and have a hobby, do make sure that you are in relationship! Sure that you are always there for her or to resent her because of that... Hard to see if a person really likes you, and since day! But sadness and hopelessness that carry decide how to handle that really going on point of carer her... As you insightfully pose, is where do you adult life was spent to... Large pieces of furniture and boxes to her Friend, who also has the kind. She needs the ex, no friendships either sometimes through the foggy of... All day trying to stabilize from bipolarity acceptance of GoodTherapy.org'sTerms and Conditions of Use you it... Can help a lot a lot and ive done all I could is! Her its either you or the ex in her life she doesnt it... Privacy Policy Sitemap Subscribe to the point of carer for her when she needs the ex in battle... And hope for, and supporting this whole time didnt count for anything just. Attitude then why does she make me get into this attitude, a to... On your ultimate goal with her and just acknowledging her pain chose to become depressed no they dont chose become! Her, but dont worry too much said she wouldnt be able to live if I ate a regular I., she just wants you them few steps back to be with eachother my...