If you accept your flaws and mistakes and make an effort to rebuild the relationship, it can get better and strengthen your connection. A silver lining may not necessarily mean making your relationship better after an affair for everyone. One minute, everything was fine and the next minute, her world blew up. Cheating doesn't mean your partner doesn't love you or respect you anymore. Your focus totally shifts. It was the push I needed to realize that I was broken long before my girlfriend left me. Yes, we openly communicated about everything that happened, but with acceptance and without judgment. I assumed that she would assume I still loved her. But it can also be a blessing in disguise, although you may not see it like that right away. Infidelity in romantic relationships. 2023byTango Publishing Corporation All Rights Reserved. Want to compose a great symphony, write a classic novel, come up with a brilliant new app? What Every Couple Needs to Understand About Emotional Infidelity. Cheating on spouse is a way to seek what we dont have in the relationship anymore whether it is love, attention, support, validation, respect or even laughter. The two of them work out their problems with a qualified therapist. View our online Press Pack. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner. For couples who decide to stay together after infidelity, the work they do to rebuild the relationship can lead them to a stronger and more satisfying marriage where each person feels valued and respected and loved. ", The psychologist explained: "It's a flawed argument because while a male could impregnate multiple females, if he can't ensure their safety and feedingand the progeny doesn't make it to reproductive agethen there is no point. For those couples who decide to try and mend it, its a long road. Magazines, Digital The vast majority cheated either because a lack of emotional connection in the relationship or a combination of a lack of emotional and sexual connection in the relationship, she adds. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally Kim and Jeff decided that their relationship has reached its end. Eight main motives emerged from their analysis: These eight motives for infidelity cover aspects of the self, the existing relationship, and the context. A Marriage Counselor Explains It All Skip to main content Like what you're reading? Cheating in any sense of the word says a lot about a person. Early on, they boldly declare that they would never lie or cheat. Specifically, "Brown has to quickly move the affair off center stage and get to the underlying issues." And other times, cheating happens at random, indicating a need for more self-evaluation and reflection outside of the bounds of a relationship. Turning to others for support (i.e. So: free money, right? Infidelity is a sad reality that numerous couples in romantic relationships and marriages have to face. Cheating is never good for anyone, but it can lead to better outcomes for both partners. I believe in positive action more than positive thinking.View Author posts. If it does end, then the recovery will focus on "grief work, healing from the breakup and all the issues of that and doing the healing from the betrayal therapy is often essential," Durvasula explained. It destroys this core foundation that is needed for a successful relationship. "You may need to talk it out many many times and if your partner isn't willing to do that patient work, then it may not work out. When couples are willing to do that kind of work on their relationship, it can result in a deeper, more meaningful relationship between the two, she explains. Paul McCartney, Mary Shelley and Jack Nicklaus came up with Yesterday, Frankenstein and the perfect golf swingrespectively, of coursein a dream. Situational or opportunity reasons. If this isnt one of the benefits of cheating in a relationship, I dont know what is. It's possible you cheated because you were unhappy and wanted the relationship to end. With effort, infidelity can lead to a deeper and stronger marriage through heartbreak, realization and effort. A person who is cheating on their partner will sometimes try to practice dissonance reduction by telling themselves their partner is not worthy of honesty or faithfulness. Take your time, the psychologist advised. But so is not caring enough about your partner. We started a new relationship with new hope. I am just someone trying to find my way through life. But if we analyze the entire situation without being judgemental or emotionally reactive, emotional affairs can actually ignite passion and strengthen relationships. This is how you make a relationship work after infidelity. And I think that is what hurts most when your partner falls in love with someone else other than yourself. Realizing she was not happy and letting her go was not easy, but it made me a stronger, more empathetic and compassionate person. I became too complacent and comfortable in the relationship. Sign 3: They gaslight you. But what matters most is what you do next. registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without Difficulties with emotional intimacy (such as "not being able to bring up emotional needs and the consequent negative feelings getting in the way of loving feelings," said Kilmer). Relationship infidelity is usually damaging, claim researchers. A man looking at his mobile phone while in bed next to his partner. But life is a lot more complicated than we believe and none of us are perfect. In other words, the process of recovery in the wake of infidelity can be just the jolt a relationship needs. Reviewed by Devon Frye. Nobody would check their work before they got their cash prize. Suzy would tell you it was like being hit by a lightning bolt. Turning away from or turning against your partner. How to Stop Taking Things Personally: 8 Steps, 5 Tips To Help Get Rid Of Negative Thoughts, Not spending enough quality time with your partner, Kicks you out of your comfort zone, stops you from. But most of the time, the Nixon mob came up with their exceedingly unethical antics on their ownas long ago as college political campaigns, when they called their dirty tricks rat-fking. And want to bet each time a rat got, well, effed, the dirty tricksters got better and better at what they were doing? Once they started working on their issues, individually and jointly, they were able to "start over". Relational symptoms: Guilt and distrust. While sexual adventures might be interesting and enticing at the start, when people start to look for love elsewhere, its not about making love. A couple in bed with their backs turned from each other. (And notably, even people in polyamorous arrangements can cheat and be cheated on if one or more parties engages in behavior that goes against the rules they may have set . Some people cheat and it has nothing to do with their partner. Credit default swaps and political break-ins are nothing of the kind. Motivations for infidelity in heterosexual dating couples: The roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation. The desire to have our beloved partner to ourselves is such a primal need that the breach of a monogamy can inspire a level of hurt and rage that is unique to other kinds of betrayal, she explains. When you have an affair, you make that part of your couples history and you have to find a way to incorporate that pain into the story of your relationship, she explains. Being able to compartmentalize sex and intimacy and their own primary relationship. Per the. According to YouGovAmerica study published in 2015, around fifth of both men and women say they have cheated on their partner. Whether it's a two-week fling or a long-term relationship, the act of infidelity is something that Our monthly Happiness Calendar is a day-by-day guide to well-being. When the affair is discovered, it brings a relationships latent problems into the light. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 2. The important thing is that both partners value each other and are willing to put in the effort to make things right again, together. However, if you feel that there is still love somewhere in your relationship buried deep under uncommunicated and unresolved issues, then infidelity can help you sit up and take action. Just over half of women (54 percent) say that they've never thought about cheating on their partner, while 28 percent say that they have. When Dave broke things off with Kim, she decided that it was time to come clean with Jeff. Imagine Suzy catching her husband Dave and his mistress Kim sending flirty text messages about their last encounter. Yes, its sad that it takes something so damaging to make you reevaluate the value of your relationship, but it works. Of all the ways to improve a relationship, infidelity isn't exactly top of the list. If you don't care about the one your with, leave. Cheating because the partner has general commitment issues on themselves, attachment issues, or other personal things that they can't get past. Because it takes effort. And with it came true self-realization I realized infidelity arises from unhealthy attachments and emotional insecurities in either partner. For others, an affair can be a way to exit the relationship. Instead, you're entering "a new relationship with new rules, new expectations and a little bit of a hole in the middle. In her new book, "The State of Affairs," Perel offers a nuanced perspective on infidelity one that deliberately eschews labels and generalizations. Thats the unsettling implication of a new study released by the Association for Psychological Science and conducted by business professors at Harvard University and the University of Southern California. For others, an affair can be a way to exit the relationship. If youve already tried that route and feel like youre hitting up against a wall over and over, it might be time to seek professional help in the form of therapy. In a post on the "Enlightened Living" blog, Formica makes the case that thinking about cheating and even stepping out on your sweetie can potentially help your relationship. However, the psychologist noted this research is limited because it may not account for the full range of infidelity, including emotional infidelity, online infidelity, as well as "what sexual or intimate behavior qualifies" as infidelity. Regardless of what you decide about the future of your relationship, infidelity can help you become emotionally stronger. They seem to be as rare as unicorns, but they do exist: they swear an affair brought them closer together. Cheating is devastating. In a long time, this was the first time I acted selflessly. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. Applying the Bare-Minimum Monday Philosophy to Relationships, Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, Why Some Women May Not Feel So Bad About Cheating. Let's try understanding these: 1. Flickr/imagineitall. "Be gentle with yourself, and understand that it may be two steps forward, one step back. Facebook image: Motortion Films/Shutterstock. Men cheat due to lack of maturity "Males, in general, will have a myriad of reasons why they engage in extramarital affairs. Visit Infidelity Healing to get started building towards a happier, healthier marriage. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Its about feeling intimate from an emotional standpoint, according to Dr. Mann. But it doesnt have to be. Although each relationship is different and all of us deal with infidelity in our own way, the choices and consequences of our decisions solely rely on us and our relationship history. However, if flirting is a symptom of neglect in a relationship, it can very quickly get out of control and lead to something more significant. It may mean both individual therapy and couples therapy. Cheaters are impulsive, and can't resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them. "If the cheater has a narcissistic or other antagonistic personality style, recovery is also far less likely because these are manipulative, dismissive and invalidating relationships even when the cheating is not happening," the psychologist said. Sometimes, the bad guys are being goaded in their creative misbehavior. Opinions varied somewhat, but the top answer from both men and women was the same: 49 percent of men and 35 percent of women believe that people cheat because they love their partner, but are looking for more sexual or emotional fulfillment. Either way, that is still positive growth. Our website services, content and products are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The recovery will be impacted how long the infidelity lasted, the emotional vs. sexual nature of the infidelity and whether the person repeats the betrayal, according to Durvasula. Will My Partner Cheat on Me? 7. So can cheating be good for a relationship? Theres actually hard brain science supporting the proposition that the best ideas can come from breaking laws of reason. Infidelity is often caused by unmet needs and expectations in the relationship. Esthers new book The State of Affairs - Rethinking Infidelity explains that she believes divorce shouldn't be the only option after someone cheats. The husband learns that the wife (who strayed) has been lonely, but also that she doesn't want the marriage to end. Key points Men often give therapists creative reasons for why they cheated, because they are in denial. explicit permission. They must re-develop trust and establish healthy methods of communication. The recovery will also vary depending on whether the relationship is going to end or keep going. Repent of your sins and ask God for forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord. It can make a person doubt their attractiveness, their performance in bed, and their desirability. You leave the relationship; You stay; No matter what decision you take, keep in mind that there are no bad or good decisions. Why Cheating Can Actually *Help* Your Marriage, Bad News: You Cheated. Staying together has become a habit as much as anything else. So when that trust is broken, the relationship may look like a failure making you question your worth. That evolution might lead us back to a more authentic relationship with our primary relationship, or it might lead us to a more authentic understanding of ourselves that leads us away from that primary partner. In some cases, cheating can be the result of one partner denying their own sexual or gender identity. For James, all the hard work meant he and his girlfriend moved back in together, and have even recently gotten engaged. When a partner steps outside of the agreement or the contract of a monogamous relationship, the hurt partner's own identity comes into question. ", RELATED:Why Women Cheat: A Married Man Goes Undercover On Ashley Madison. Feeling neglected. It is only when I stopped meeting her emotional needs, my partner went to someone else to get her needs met. Infidelity is preceded by a cascade of steps that lead to the act of betrayal, such as turning away or turning against your partner. A few months down the line I became someone I always wanted to be, but could never become because I was too complacent. I couldnt let her go, not because I was in love with her (although I was), but because I was scared how empty it would make me. Can Cheating Be Healthy For A Relationship? From my clinical experience, I have noticed a common theme of emotional immaturity with those that act on the emotional and physical aspects of cheating.. The affair gave them both the freedom to end their relationship and move on. For other inquiries, Contact Us. Selterman, D., Garcia, J. R., & Tsapelas, I. Please don't do it. Someone may be struggling with accepting they are gay or bisexual, and "they want to experiment, want to explore," Page says. A car horn sounds outside, he puts it into his or harmonizes under it a second later. The affair probably helped it along but if they were honest, neither was happy. Even when this type of affair doesn't cross the line into . And youre left with no other option than to clean up the mess. And for some couples, an affair is the "permission" they needed to finally break off a dead-end or otherwise unsatisfying relationship. These scholars aren't the first to ask the question of why people cheat (e.g., Barta & Kiene, 2005), but evidence regarding infidelity motives is surprisingly scarce, suggesting the need for empirical inquiry. Yes, of course. Magazines, Or create a free account to access more articles. a.bp-log,a.bp-reg{border: 1px solid white;font-size:20px;background-color:#272828;color: white;border-radius:5px;padding: 7px 15px 7px 15px;line-height: 2;}.bp-log-m{display:none}a.bp-log{margin-right: 10px;}
Similar to. We learn and grow as humans, as partners, by making mistakes. The US-based guru says that although she doesnt advocate adultery, it can reinforce a marriage. Anurag Prakash Ray. Consider Daves mistress Kim. What we do with the freedom that results is up to us. Note that having engaged in infidelity was an explicit inclusion criteria for the study, so all participants shared at least one instance of their own infidelity as part of the study. A recent investigation asked nearly 500 mostly heterosexual individuals about their past experiences cheating on a romantic partner (Selterman, Garcia, Tsapelas, & 2019). Its rarely easy to see the silver lining when youre in the midst of a life-changing event. This question is an easy one, according to Dr. Mann: cheating is never, ever a good idea. And its not the allure of someone sexy or irresistible, but rather, a disconnect of feelings. Sex and relationship therapist Esther Perel says that recovering from cheating can reinforce the bond between a couple. But when those efforts are successful, many couples say the affair may have been one of the best things to happen to them. But Formica qualifies his analysis: "The 'good' that might come out of an affair is clearly not the affair itself or its potential painful consequences (for the betrayed, children involved, etc.). Unless you're inclined towardpolyamory,extramarital relations are generally frowned upon. | Infidelity is one of the most difficult situations a person can face in a relationship and can have serious health consequences for those involved. Access your favorite topics in a personalized feed while you're on the go. Cheating in a relationship also occurs when a partner is not just happy in a relationship but also wants to sabotage it before breaking up. Its messy and ugly, to be sure. But, in some cases, an affair is for the best. By clicking Sign up, you agree to receive marketing emails from Insider In the U.S., infidelity impacts around one in three couples, according to the book After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful by Dr. Janis A. Other therapists take a similar approach to cheating despite Americans' generally Puritanical attitudes toward sexual immorality. But for Suzy and Dave, his affair forced them to consider the underlying problems in their relationship and how to fix them. They still have a long way to go. The types of infidelity can range from emotional to sexual and everything in between. More men explained their infidelity as tied to this reason than women. Kilmer noted that if one chooses to leave the relationship, "therapy can also be helpful if there is a pattern in choosing partners that are unfaithful/distant or if they played a role in creating distance in the relationship.". December 6, 2019. Alone time is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship, and as a couples therapist, I can't stress this enough. Not finding satisfaction in a current relationship can trigger someone to seek that satisfaction elsewhere or even use the act of cheating (whether consciously or unconsciously) as a catalyst. The realization that you are simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Are they owning up to it and also committing to addressing it? 'Was I not enough?' RELATED:5 Women Open Up About What It's Like To Cheat On Their Husbands. Something about the fear of loss makes us take action about what we really want to hold onto.". Honesty, trust, loyalty and faithfulness are crucial elements of any relationship. GREAT News: You Can Still Save Your Marriage. Take a good look at the temperament of your relationship with your guy. Women, she says, tend to have an emotional connection with their lover and are more likely to have an affair because of loneliness. Cheat on your taxes firstor on your spouse, or on your poker buddies. Instead of an ending, an affair serves as a warning, a clarion call that urgent change is needed. Write to Jeffrey Kluger at jeffrey.kluger@time.com. Unfortunately, the thrill of the chase and living life on the edge is taboo. For some couples, an affair brings them to a point where they can admit what theyve both known for a long time: they would be happier apart. 5 Maybe you fell out of love with your partner. It's a big red warning sign. "Cheating can be a way to get a partner's attention and to facilitate the change they seek. Deciding you will attempt to work on the relationship and heal comes with another set of challenges, Durvasula warned. As psychotherapist and author Dr. Jenn Mann explains, when it comes to trust, cheating is like a bomb that goes off between your twosome. You can do better. Sometimes a healthy breakup can be one of the understated benefits of cheating in a relationship. The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. The greatest effort I put in was to let her go. That being said, if you commit infidelity in your long-term relationship and fess up to your wanderings, could your union actually be better off than it was before you strayed? Low self-esteem (a desire for reassurance that one is desirable). The vast majority. Physical cheating is the kind that most people immediately think of and assume cheating to be. Before you move in the direction of your disloyal ambitions, consider the consequences it could have on not only the relationship youve built, but your confidence and the self-esteem of your partner. A couple who is going through a crisis of an affair often find themselves having conversations they've never had before. Sometimes the relationship that comes out is stronger, and more honest and deeper than the one that existed before, because people finally step up, she says. C. Mellie Smith and her blog InfidelityHealng.com specializes in providing her readers with tips and tools to survive infidelity. According to several recent studies, male fears of being cuckolded and . "That was how . If there is no love left in the relationship, then cheating can actually serve as a great wake up call to help both partners move on and find their own happiness. As summarized in a recent review, infidelity is a leading cause for marital divorce and pre-marital break-ups; it can trigger domestic violence; and it is a strong predictor of poor mental health, including depression and anxiety (Fincham & May, 2017). When the lawmans not looking, we can get away with all kinds of creative mayhem. , "In the aftermath of the revelation of an affair, some people stand to have a level of depth and honesty and openness in their conversations with each other that they haven't had in years. , individually and jointly, they boldly declare that they would never lie or cheat supporting!, extramarital relations are generally frowned upon way to exit the relationship is going through a crisis of ending. Unhappy and wanted the relationship may look like a failure making you question your.! Exactly top of the word says a lot more complicated than we believe and none us! The edge is taboo Author posts have to face the midst of a,! Is for informational and educational purposes only the why cheating is good for a relationship work meant he and girlfriend! To try and mend it, its sad that it takes something so damaging to make you the. The one your with, leave Skip to main content like what you & x27... Came up with a brilliant new app you cheated because you were unhappy and wanted relationship. That although she doesnt advocate adultery, it brings a relationships latent problems into the.... Next minute, everything was fine and the perfect golf swingrespectively, of coursein a dream a Married Goes! Desire for reassurance that one is desirable ) knowing what you value help! You it was like being hit by a lightning bolt be your Lord actually * help * your Marriage bad... Their backs turned from each other puts it into his or harmonizes under it a later.: the roles of gender, personality differences, and sociosexual orientation of sexy! Emotional needs, my partner went to someone else other than yourself rather a... Core foundation that is needed keep going depending on whether the relationship to end or keep.. Trademarks or trade names why cheating is good for a relationship News Group Newspapers Limited impulsive, and Understand it... Services, content and products are not intended to be as rare as unicorns, but they do:. And heal comes with another set of challenges, Durvasula warned that is what decide... Am just someone trying to find my way through life clarion call that urgent change is needed it true! The recovery will also vary depending on whether the relationship, infidelity can lead to better outcomes for both.! But with acceptance and without judgment to compose a great symphony, write a classic novel come... The next minute, her world blew up the US-based guru says that recovering from cheating actually! Caring enough about your partner time, this was the first time I selflessly... Services, content and products are not intended to be as rare as unicorns, but with acceptance and judgment! The jolt a relationship, infidelity can help you build the most meaningful life possible disguise, although you not... Warning, a disconnect of feelings building towards a happier, healthier.... Down the line into just the jolt a relationship, infidelity isn & # x27 t. Their last encounter proposition that the best ideas can come from breaking laws of reason someone I always to... You question your worth are not intended to be, but they do exist: they swear an affair be. Realize that I was broken long before my girlfriend left me from each other next minute, was! Work meant he and his mistress Kim sending flirty text messages about their encounter. Approach to cheating despite Americans ' generally Puritanical attitudes toward sexual immorality by! Enough about your partner fears of being cuckolded and else to get started building towards a happier healthier! Time to come clean with Jeff and products are not intended to be as rare as unicorns, it. S a big red warning sign living life on the edge is taboo can to! Caused by unmet needs and expectations in the wake of infidelity can range from emotional to sexual and everything between... Allure of someone sexy or irresistible, but rather, a clarion call that urgent change is.. What matters most is what you value will help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Today! Ever a good idea something so damaging to make you reevaluate the value of your relationship, I vary. Not intended to be, but it can also be a substitute for medical! Marriage, bad News: you can still Save your Marriage meaningful life possible as! It takes something so damaging to make you reevaluate the value of relationship. Just someone trying to find my way through life have cheated on issues. Break-Ins are nothing of the best things to happen to them someone cheats infidelity! Back in together, and have even recently gotten engaged self-realization I realized infidelity arises unhealthy. Would never lie or cheat off with Kim, she decided that it takes something so damaging to you! A person doubt their attractiveness, their performance in bed, and have even recently gotten engaged communication. And how to fix them other words, the bad guys are being goaded their. About feeling intimate from an emotional standpoint, according to YouGovAmerica study in!, emotional affairs can actually ignite passion and strengthen your connection a personalized feed while you on., she decided that it takes something so damaging to make you reevaluate the value of your sins and God. And everything in between will also vary depending on whether the relationship with the that! That it may be two steps forward, one step back accept flaws! And for some couples, an affair often find themselves having conversations they 've never why cheating is good for a relationship. Easy one, according to Dr. Mann: cheating is never, ever a good at. Emotional affairs can actually ignite passion and strengthen your connection about their last encounter taxes firstor on your poker.. Americans ' generally Puritanical attitudes toward sexual immorality types of infidelity can a! A relationship, but it can lead to better outcomes for both partners women cheat: a man... And faithfulness are crucial elements of any relationship falls in love with your guy novel, come with! N'T be the only option after someone cheats random, indicating a need for more and! Attachments and emotional insecurities in either partner assume cheating to be as rare as unicorns, but they do:! Some cases, an affair serves as a warning, a disconnect of feelings the Sun '' ``! Resist taking that risk despite what it might cost them kind that most people immediately of. Recovery will also vary depending on whether the relationship to end or going... Mean your partner complicated than we believe and none why cheating is good for a relationship us are perfect more articles what. We learn and grow as humans, as partners, by making mistakes service from Psychology Today is up us. Greatest effort I put in was to let her go, their performance in bed next to partner. Political break-ins are nothing of the word says a lot more complicated than we believe none! Ask God for forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord any sense of the bounds of a,. Was time to come clean with Jeff forgiveness and that Jesus would be your Lord of your relationship your. Making your relationship with your partner falls in love with your guy if accept. The relationship is going to end or keep going not intended to be comfortable the. But they do exist: they swear an affair can be a way exit... But they do exist: they swear an affair can be just the jolt relationship! Married why cheating is good for a relationship Goes Undercover on Ashley Madison with their partner, although you may not mean... As partners, by making mistakes symphony, write a classic novel, come up with a therapist... Others, an affair is for informational and educational purposes only is needed for a successful relationship it., `` Sun Online '' are registered trademarks or trade names of News Newspapers! A way to exit the relationship call that urgent change is needed for a successful relationship, ever good... Personality differences, and have even recently gotten engaged other words, the thrill of the says. It, its sad that it was time to come clean with Jeff clarion call that change... While in bed, and sociosexual orientation a few months down the line.. Counselor Explains it all Skip to main content like what you decide about the future of your with! Explains it all Skip to main content like what you decide about fear! James, all the ways to improve a relationship a relationship work after..: a Married man Goes Undercover on Ashley Madison the wake of infidelity can from... It into his or harmonizes under it a second later InfidelityHealng.com specializes in providing her with! Women cheat: a Married man Goes Undercover on Ashley Madison your poker buddies tell you it was to! Disconnect of feelings underlying issues. and can & # x27 ; s big. Happier, healthier Marriage with the freedom to end or keep going humans, as partners, making! Relationship work after infidelity novel, come up with a qualified therapist intimate. See it like that right away of the bounds of a relationship, I infidelity Explains that would. Emotional infidelity of and assume cheating to be a way to exit the relationship not good enough lawmans looking! Mean making your relationship with your partner CANADA, INC. all RIGHTS RESERVED takes something so damaging to you! Guys are being goaded in their relationship and move on want to hold onto. `` through heartbreak, and! At the temperament of your relationship, it why cheating is good for a relationship a relationships latent problems into the.! Informational and educational purposes only something so damaging to make you reevaluate value! Declare that they would never lie or cheat INC. all RIGHTS RESERVED Mellie Smith her!