Ours was not a moment to explore The Other Side. This was the stuff of doorstop novels, and yet people were working it out in 280 characters dashed off in line at Trader Joes. Taboo subjects have always been delectable, but suddenly we were living in a time when so much that was once considered fair game for discussion (education, biological differences, the benefits of policing) had become dangerous. Sarah Hepola @sarahhepola Host of AMERICA'S GIRLS podcast, author of BLACKOUT, and whatever comes next. I was stuck. When men are in a blackout, they do things to the world, he told me. by Sarah Hepola. One thing you discuss that fascinated me is the complicated subject of consent and alcohol. Artists were the weirdos and the scoundrels, the square pegs who never fit the round hole of society, and the result was typically a bucket of addictions, perversions, and bizarre predilections born of life on the outskirts. Yes, exactly! Or I would pause the recording to offer my own opposing view, like I was part of this conversation, and not the passive listener. I lost 50 pounds, but I still have to accept that Im never going to have the body of my 5'10" actress friend. I grew up in a conservative part of Dallas, in the conservative 80s. I didnt have ears for that. I took on freelance stories only to pull out when they too proved controversial. (I had to imagine that Oprah, queen of empathy, was having a hell of a time in this day and age. That shook me. I have a million things to say, but well talk about it after the event.. Ask the Puritans. Public shaming is the worst kind of shaming. Sarah Hepola writes a long rambling pointless essay titled The . In the two years since, I have tried to drum up the courage to be someone different from the writer I had become. The selfie with Malcolm Gladwell I posted to Instagram did get a ton of likes, though. I have spoken to women who, when they wake up and they cant remember what happened the night before, their immediate thing is, I was drugged; I was roofied. And that is possible, but I think one of the things that wasnt out there, to my thinking, was just how often excessive drinking leads to blacking out, especially for women. The younger man and I could talk in an antic way Id come to find quite valuable. Im telling you about what I saw when I was 19. She was one of those people who rarely had a bad day. Sarah Hepola @sarahhepola Feb 22, 2023 @TheJenosphere That sounds incredible. And thats why, midway through a career built on speaking out, I shut up. But there would be no lunch after the show. Jack Goldsmith and Andrew Keane Woods: Internet speech will never go back to normal. And I knew blackouts so intimately that I literally wrote the book. If you do, that is sexual assault. She went to St. And they dont know the difference between blacking out and passing out. They were married in Little Falls and moved to Eden Prairie, MN in 1962. When Don retired, they split their time between summers at the cabin on Duck Lake, MN and winters at their home in Mesa, AZ. Cloud Teachers College and became a 4th Grade Teacher in Sebeka, MN where she met her future husband, Donald Hepola. We had a wonderful onstage conversation, because Gladwell is one of those windup toys of public speaking who can wow any crowd. Im not going to die in that ditch today, I often said to a like-minded friend when we spoke about these scandals, which was daily, both of us getting in a lather because the topics were so rich. But the conversation didnt go as Id planned. . No jail time. What is important to me is that I thought my life was over, and truly, this whole chapter of my life was just beginning. As she tells it, Sarah Hepola's romance with alcohol began in her childhood (yes, childhood), when she would sneak sips of beer from her mother's half-drunk can in the fridge. What was trauma, really? Course Syllabus School, What Is It Good For? What would you say to people who are maybe 30 days out from quitting? Sarah Hepolais the author of the bestsellingBlackoutand whatever she writes next. | Funeral Home Website by Batesville Home | In the two years since, I have tried to drum up the courage to be someone different from the writer I had become. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, The Guardian, the Atlantic, Salon, and Elle. But in a blackout, a person is anything but silent and immobile. A nagging sense that I did not know enough about any given controversy to weigh in publicly (though that never stopped so many others). Cloud Teachers College and became a 4th Grade Teacher in Sebeka, MN where she met her future husband, Donald Hepola. Oprah managed deep conversations with each of them, never pointing out that one account brushed uncomfortably against the other. Were missing the chance to learn. Phone dates with writer friends in other parts of the country stretched to two and three hours as we worked out essays we would never write, toggling between outrage, despair, and armchair cultural analysis of the latest dustup. What gets lost when a writer mutes herself? All I know is that I hated it, and for five years, I kept very quiet about it. But the social and moral and criminal consequences can be grave. When men are in a blackout, they do things to the world, he told me. Shes the co-conspirator of Smoke Em if You Got Em, a weekly podcast on whats burning through the culture that she hosts with friend and fellow scribe Nancy Rommelmann. A couple of years ago, I was asked to conduct an interview at the Texas Book Festival with Malcolm Gladwell. Books were a common pleasure point, and I was eager to tell him about a literary party Id recently attended in New York City, where Id once lived and often visited in the Before Times. But what I have noticed in reading so much about this, and following this story, and writing my own story, and talking to people -- and Ive been talking about this for years now -- is what a conflation there is between passing out and blacking out. on Sarah Hepola The Things Im Afraid to Write About. There had been more grievous allegations, of courserape, pedophilia, physical abuse. A single womans life, also precarious. My point in all of this is: Hey, were having this explosive, important, necessary, fascinating, difficult conversation about consent. That was another reason for the silence. Sarah Hepola is the author of the New York Times bestselling memoir, "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget."MORE FROM Sarah Hepola And the writing community changed. Everyone kept quiet (save for the brave few who did not). Heres something that I think helps enrich the conversation." Too fraught, no lived experience. Three guys I met on dating apps who refused to get vaccinated: Eh, never mind. The Rise to Fame 1. Everything is guesswork. Id get killed!, His look wasnt judgmental. Id think those would be the most interesting things to write about., I gave him an exasperated look. Instead of just not inviting me, which she could have done -- she could have just slowly slinked out of my life, and I would have probably just stayed in denial and thought, You know what? Oh yeah, that was me. You start to see the ways that their stories sync up with you. Her essays have appeared in the New York Times magazine, the Atlantic, Elle, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Guardian, Salon, and Texas Monthly. For press inquiries or to contact the author, click here. We need to understand these terms -- "blackout" and "passing out -- a little bit better, so that we can have a better conversation. But I was swiftly counseled away by my lets-not-die-in-this-ditch partner in difficult conversations. Thats when I first found out what blacking out was. But in 2015Id written a memoirthat introduced some controversial ideas about women and drinking, and I badly wanted to be a part of their rogue outfit, even as I clung to the more doctrinaire one Id long considered my own. Sarah Hepola wiki ionformation include family relationships: spouse or partner (wife or husband); siblings; childen/kids; parents life. But admitting what Ireallythought, what Ireallybelieved about these complicated issues, I feared a similar exile. Id think those would be the most interesting things to write about., I gave him an exasperated look. The Rise to Fame The modern Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders launch in 1972 and rocket to national fame. Arrangements were entrusted to Jones Pearson Funeral Home of Park Rapids. Like me, the younger man had fallen in love with art because it was the place where people told the truth. I couldnt always tell the difference between activism and protectionism, valid critique and frivolous complaint. Id choose a lot of gnarly punishments before Id choose to lose the status and career Ive built over more than two decades. Id long considered myself a liberal and a feminist, but Id grown terrified of being banished for views I considered reasonable, or at least worth discussingbut maybe,but what about,but actually. My college boyfriend introduced me to Joan Didion. And by the way, feminism never did this to me, the body acceptance movement never did this to me -- this was simply what I did, probably because I didnt want to do the hard work of change. Sarah Hepola is the author of the bestselling memoir, Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget, and the host/creator of America's Girls, a Texas Monthly podcast about the lost history and cultural impact of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. The reasons were simple, at least for me. . She writes of waking up in a hospital with no idea how she got there and only a handful of cluesa grim scenario that is nonetheless a familiar one for blackout drinkers like me. And its hard to be close to you right now.. And so alcohol became this way to drown those critical voices. Speaking Topics The tragic result is a disturbed public forum where it often seems like no adults are in the room. Maybe Ill write something lousy. I carved out a journalism career during an era when that was not so hard to do. Beginning. I suspect I will lose followers (I dont have that many), but perhaps I will gain self-respect, which Ive been sorely lacking lately. Peak. This was 2018, and the party was an informal gathering at the sumptuous Brooklyn brownstone of a writer deemed problematic, even before that word went mainstream. Maybe Ill write something great this year. Because I was part of a binge-drinking culture and because it was a part of my life, I always knew -- ever since I blacked out when I was 12. Here's a link to the original. What might happen if she got a dragon? Join Tracy Clark-Flory as she presents her newest book Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey Into the Heart of Desire. Ask the Puritans. Our heroine finally makes peace with her hometown. She went to St. A bigot? What he said was slow, and careful, and Ive never forgotten it. And so I watched from afar as the person whose memory had not recorded the incident came to control the narrative. The unwritten rule of elite media tribes seemed to be this: You spout the company line, or you shut up. What if I picked up the groceries and I got the wrong ones? And that is a great gift that you can give someone. When I quit drinking in 2010, bringing to an end a dark history of blackouts and tumbles down staircases, I thought I might lose my writing career. They were married in Little Falls and moved to Eden Prairie, MN in 1962. The unsavory truth is that I sympathized with many of these men: Johnny Depp, Ryan Adams, Brett Kavanaugh, every booze-soaked dumbass who has been accused of doing or saying things he may or may not remember, may or may not regret, may or may not have done while under the influence. And this bravado among women has continued to the point where it is considered a right. New York, Grand Central Publishing, 2015, 230 pp., 26.00. How long does it take to become a therapist? I was stuck on my second book, stuck on projects Id taken to cover the expenses of not finishing that book. In the pandemic madness of 2021, a journalist friend who enjoyed sounding off on science and homeopathy decided to stay the hell away from COVID. Its kind of mind-boggling to contemplatethatnotpouring a beer on a strangers head would be the bad career move. If so, can they please tell me, so I can choose my stance accordingly? For Sarah Hepola, alcohol was "the gasoline of all adventure." She spent her evenings at cocktail parties and dark bars where she . This felt empowering to her, as it did to many of us who were young and sexually active at that time. I wanted people to love me without really knowing me, which isnt love. She was a very positive person, had an independent spirit, was high energy, and was incredibly welcoming and caring. Its like that line I have in the book: I thought sobriety was the boring part, but sobriety is the plot twist. What gets lost when a writer mutes herself? All Rights Reserved. At one point, for example, she came out of a blackout while having sex with someone she didn't recognize: "It's like the universe dropped me into someone else's body. All Rights Reserved. There had been more grievous allegations, of courserape, pedophilia, physical abuse. Make a life-giving gesture During a blackout, the alcohol user may behave normally, yet have no recollection of events upon sobriety. In her book, released in June, the author -- who edits personal essays for Salon.com -- discusses her long, both complicated and sometimes devastatingly simple relationship with alcohol. Sarah Hepola can be an celebrity, known for Rurni Kenshin: Ishin shishi e zero Requiem . Hepola A lonely, attention-starved child, Hepola started stealing sips of her parents' beer at age seven. Im not gonna deal with that person because that person brings chaos -- and I understand that. Fear. Last year marked a low point for me. And it might be different from what you are at the moment -- without being supermodel size, either. The book is an intimate education, not only in her personal history, but also about the dangers of alcohol-induced blackouts, or "periods of memory loss for events that transpired while a person was drinking," which Hepola calls a "menace hiding in plain sight. The selfie with Malcolm Gladwell I posted to Instagram did get a ton of likes, though. A couple of years ago, I was asked to conduct an interview at the Texas Book Festival with Malcolm Gladwell. ( 2,291 ) $10.99. What things cant you write about?, Gender, sex, politics. I was screwed. Infused with sharp humor and carried along with elegant, brisk prose, Blackout traces the arc of Hepola's life, beginning when she was seven years old and snuck her first sips of Pearl Light from the family fridge in Dallas, "the land of rump-shaking cheerleaders and Mary Kay." After guiding us through her adolescent tribulations, first relationships, and drunken antics at the University of . Yeah. Blackouts might be the freakiest neurological occurrence that also happens to be casually categorized as another Friday night. Everyone drank to get drunk in college, in their 20s and even into their 30s. Lets talk about it out there, he said, gesturing to the corridor that led to a packed audience, and I gave him that look, the same look Id given the younger man who asked why I didnt write about these things. A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure--the sober life she never wanted. Im worried about you. And Im talking about friends of mine who work at top tier magazines, people who know the history of ancient Rome. Cloud Teachers College and became a 4th Grade Teacher in Sebeka, MN where she met her future husband, Donald Hepola. Find the obituary of Sarah Hepola (1928 - 2022) from Mesa, AZ. Im 40 years old, and during all these years that Im getting wasted to the point of blackout, that Im falling down stairs, that Im having one night stands with guys, I cannot remember -- and Im not saying this never happened, but I cannot remember -- a friend, a person around me, or anyone saying, Were you too drunk to consent to this? I just dont remember that conversation ever happening. Sarah Hepola is the author of the bestselling Blackout and whatever she writes next. Staying silent as writers in this fractured world is understandable, maybe even wise; its also a disserviceto society, the career we fought so hard to claim, and ourselves. I didnt deserve to be there, or at least thats how I felt as guests exchanged war stories about the scolds on social media, where I mostly posted upcoming appearances, like a bot run by a PR firm. In the pandemic madness of 2021, a journalist friend who enjoyed sounding off on science and homeopathy decided to stay the hell away from COVID. I dont know. Yes, I Am a Dallas Girl. Follow her on Twitter (@sarahhepola) and Instagram . By Sarah Hepola Ms. Hepola is the author of the best-selling memoir "Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget." One of the trickiest things about blackouts is that you don't . If I had to pick, I think I'd honestly say I miss smoking more - although it is nice being able to go up a flight of stairs and not feel like I'm dying! David Labaree on Schooling, History, and Writing, Comments on the nature of the US system of schooling, big history, and the craft of writing. The #MeToo movement, which felt like a necessary corrective when it began, was starting to feel like an arrow pointed at our own agency. Her place was filled with hardback books and writers who had been invited because they danced on the precarious edge of what was considered appropriate. He could take the hits. I dont want to brag about where I am now. Artists were the weirdos and the scoundrels, the square pegs who never fit the round hole of society, and the result was typically a bucket of addictions, perversions, and bizarre predilections born of life on the outskirts. "Alcohol felt like freedom to me," Hepola notes. Oprah managed deep conversations with each of them, never pointing out that one account brushed uncomfortably against the other. I still wanted it both ways: the respect and admiration of strangers without the hard work of earning that respect. I didn't do AA or anything like that, just lurked here and became a devout fan of Sarah Hepola and her musings. And the unsavory truth is that, as someone who has done Very Stupid Things while drinking, I also sympathized with Turner. She moved out of Brooklyn to a tiny, beautiful apartment on Jane Street in Manhattan, then a year later back to her hometown of Dallas, Texas, where she is tearing up the town writing for local and national publications, and still editing essays for Salon. Taboo subjects have always been delectable, but suddenly we were living in a time when so much that was once considered fair game for discussion (education, biological differences, the benefits of policing) had become dangerous. Perhaps my thinking, steeped in the classic liberalism of 90s slacker culture, was unevolved. This was 2018, and the party was an informal gathering at the sumptuous Brooklyn brownstone of a writer deemed problematic, even before that word went mainstream. You cant predict these things; its all guesswork. I just thought this was how it was donewe said one thing in public, and backstage we said what we really thought. Oprah had him on to talk about the book, and exactly two weeks later, she sat down with Chanel Miller, whose own memoir,Know My Name,had become a sensation. So much so, in fact, that when her father suggested she. John Ford. But in 2015 Id written a memoir that introduced some controversial ideas about women and drinking, and I badly wanted to be a part of their rogue outfit, even as I clung to the more doctrinaire one Id long considered my own. Thank you for asking me that. I know this: Im finally ready to have a conversation with the world. Not gonna die in that ditch today. There were the pressing matters of rent, exorbitant insurance, and the occasional glitter heels. by Sarah Hepola (Author) 2,944 ratings Editors' pick Best Biographies & Memoirs See all formats and editions Kindle $10.99 Read with Our Free App Audiobook $0.00 Free with your Audible trial Hardcover $22.45 85 Used from $1.49 25 New from $10.50 5 Collectible from $6.00 Paperback Public scolding, all-caps hyperbole, a stubborn refusal to understand another point of viewintolerance, once perceived as a conservative problem, was fully bipartisan now. Like me, the younger man had fallen in love with art because it was the place where people told the truth. I was so proud of this small, private act of civil disobedience that I brought it home to Texas to show it to the younger man like a prized pelt. News about the couple's then-burgeoning relationship in April 2016. Is there a more honest and productive way to talk about this in public -- or is it just too thorny for people to handle? Sarah Hepola is the Dallas-based author of the New York Times bestseller "Blackout" and a forthcoming memoir about being single called "Unattached." She also reported and hosted the Texas. So I was relieved that someone of Gladwells stature had broached the topic. Atlantic. They targeted lyrics by Prince, Madonna, Cyndi Lauperin short, every artist I lovedand their public blacklist even turned me into a fan of the questionable heavy-metal band W.A.S.P., whose name was thought to be an acronym for We Are Sexual Perverts. (I had no idea!). Jones-Pearson Funeral Home. Her essays have appeared in the New York Times magazine, the Atlantic, Elle, Bloomberg Businessweek, The Guardian, Salon, and Texas Monthly. Back in 2015, I was putting out my first book, and then I was promoting that book, and then I was struggling to write a second book, and I could not risk the personal and professional blowback that might accompany stepping into the wrong lane. But in silencing our own moral compass and strongly held beliefs, were hanging ourselves out to dry, rendering our wisdom and insight useless. Back in 2015, I was putting out my first book, and then I was promoting that book, and then I was struggling to write a second book, and I could not risk the personal and professional blowback that might accompany stepping into the wrong lane. It is considered a right freakiest neurological occurrence that also happens to be someone different what! An interview at the moment -- without being supermodel size, either from Mesa, AZ from the I! Of Gladwells stature had broached the topic the younger man had fallen in love with art because was! Would you say to people who know the history of ancient Rome no recollection of events sobriety. Where she met her future husband, Donald Hepola forgotten it these things ; sarah hepola husband all.! Broached the topic they please tell me, the alcohol user may behave,. 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